This Is Not a Love Story

 
It all started with a look, a smile...she captivated me. (And that's not easy to do, lemme tell ya.)

And then...then I decided it was time to take it to another level. So I wrote and then posted this where she'd find it. (It was one of those rare days and WHOLE NIGHTS we spent apart.)

I'd Be Lying
(The Gerbil, 2009)

I'd be lying if I said this was easy--
changes rarely are.
I'd be lying if I tried pretend I'm not
sitting here with my heart on my sleeve
too afraid of bruising it further
to extend my arm and take your hand.
I'd be lying if I said I could promise
that we'd never disagree, never fight,
or hurt each other's feelings over
something, nothing, or everything.

I don't make promises I can't keep--
I've had enough broken promises
to last a dozen lifetimes.
I don't plant seeds I'm not
willing to cultivate--nor
do I bring fish home
that I don't intend to clean
(assuming I caught any
to begin with, of course).
I don't expect you to change
a thing about yourself--I'm
intrigued with you as you are.

I'd be lying if I said this was easy--
opening one's heart rarely is.
I'd be lying if I said it was easy
to leave you lying, asleep, after
being right next to you all night,
to walk out your door and go
on about my life as if I don't
miss you the second we're apart.
I'd be lying if I said I couldn't
live without you. I've done that--
I'd rather I didn't have to continue.

I'd be lying if I claimed I haven't
been struggling for the right
combination of words and phrases
to make my feelings known.
I don't want you to think
that I'm just one more person
who doesn't care enough to
fight for you--because
I do, and I would.

All I'm asking for
is a chance to prove it.

A few days later, we met up at her house to hang out, watch movies and whatnot. We started out watching one of our favorite Disney movies--Hercules. And yes, we sang along. It's a must. We're dorky like that.

After the movie ended, it got dark--like super-can't-see-your-hand-a-half-inch-from-your-face dark. It was a little cold too (did I mention it was dark?) and we were cuddled up on the couch. You know what happened next. If you don't...gar. Get cable.

Anyway, we were kissing and *stuff*...and The GF leans over and whispers in my ear, "You still want that chance?"

At this point, I'm breathless--from kissing, you know--and it was all I could do to half-choke out a "yes." And here we are.

**************************
Next post will be a surprise. And it might take a while, since we're in the process of moving. Later, ya'll!
 
body art 06/07/2010
 
fingertips dipped
in invisible ink
trace swirled patterns
of chemical connections;
lips, tongues, teeth
press images onto cave walls
incorporating newly emblazoned
symbols with those previously
painted--overlapping, partially
obscuring, pointing out imperfections.
words wound around air,
left to hang
between faces pressed
like favorite flowers
in a freshly penned book
for safe-keeping--
wet ink stamps unspoken poetry
on exposed cheeks
as the covers come together.

The Gerbil 2010
 
    And now...the REST of the story...

    If you're new, please start here.  (And then read THIS.)

    TiNaLS Crew:

    The Gerbil: That's me.

    The Girlfriend: Umm, my girlfriend/fiancée.

    The Big One:
    My 7 year old son

    The Short One:
    My 5 year old son

    Pringle:
    My kitten

    Frito:
    The Girlfriend's cat

    Anyone else will be nicknamed appropriately as needed.

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