This Is Not a Love Story

In case you haven't noticed, I have two kids. Yes, I was married to a man (for seven years). That's not the point of this post. (Although I will say, we all get along just drama there. Sorry.)

It's awkward, at the beginning of a new relationship (hetero or homo, I don't think it matters) when one partner has children from a previous relationship. There are boundaries to establish, relationships to build--and not just with the kids.

So far, we're good. The kids have only slipped up and called The GF "daddy" once (who could blame the Short One--he's five...and she IS kinda butch).

It was hilarious though. We were at Wal-Mart, in the checkout line. The Short One spotted a Batman Pez set and ran to grab it. He held it up in front of his face and turned toward The GF...and said, "Daddy! Can you buy me this?"

He quickly corrected himself, but it was adorable. Mostly because of the look on The GF's face when he said it. She still talks about it (and always gets that dazed look on her face when it comes up.)

Which brings me to the point of this post. After The GF and I made our relationship official (read: we were together all the time--that's another post), the kids went through a phase where the phrase "you're not my mom/dad" came out of their wee mouths with every other sentence. It was disturbing--to all of us.

So, what does a lesbian mom (who has only recently come out and embraced her identity) tell her preschool-elementary aged children about...well, The GF? Though the boys and I have discussed the relationship, the GF, the Ex and I are not entirely sure they "get" it. At their ages, it doesn't surprise me.

Our solution? Patience. The GF took the boys on their first fishing trip (the Ex has never been interested in such things) and they loved it. It gave them a chance to spend time with her, doing something they all enjoyed. She took them with her to pick up my "special surprise birthday present" back in April. They love surprises. They also love building things, which turned out to be a bonus to the trip since they went to pick up the new entertainment cabinet we'd been eying.

They still have moments when they tune her out--maybe all the "playtime" with her (The GF and the boys share a love of video games and cartoons) skews their image of her and makes it difficult for them to see her as another adult in the family. Then again, sometimes she's THE adult they want--especially if they're looking for a move...or a snack. 
...even if it was hot as Hades in Southern Oklahoma today.

My grandpa's blue and white Ford Fairlane didn't win any prizes--but the boys liked being able to climb in and check out a "super-cool hot rod."

There was even a truck designed to look (pretty much) exactly like Mater from the movie Cars. It was kind of neat, really. (And it kept The Short One from whining for...oh, about five minutes.)

After the car show was over and pretty much everyone had left, we moseyed on over to Sonic--where they were doing karaoke. Fun, right? Sing a song, get a free drink. Not a bad deal, considering EVERYONE in the Gerbil-Girlfriend family is a) musically inclined; b) a total ham; c) into getting free drinks.

I sang: Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert and That's How You Know It's Love by Deanna Carter.

The Short One sang: the Baby Bumblebee song (super cute).

And The Big One sang: Peaches by the Presidents of the USA and (all three of us chimed in...) Free and Easy Down the Road I Go by Dierks Bentley. (Whose name spellchecks to "Jerks." hehe.)

If only they'd had The Duck Song.
    And now...the REST of the story...

    If you're new, please start here.  (And then read THIS.)

    TiNaLS Crew:

    The Gerbil: That's me.

    The Girlfriend: Umm, my girlfriend/fiancée.

    The Big One:
    My 7 year old son

    The Short One:
    My 5 year old son

    My kitten

    The Girlfriend's cat

    Anyone else will be nicknamed appropriately as needed.


    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010


    A Proposal
    The Big One
    The Gerbil
    The Gf
    The Short One
    Uh Oh

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